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Date: September 25th, 2017 02:34 am (UTC)
alasse_irena: Photo of the back of my head, hair elaborately braided (0)
From: [personal profile] alasse_irena
Yeah, I get that, definitely. I think it was okay partly because we were already chatting, and part he was obviously very aware that he was asking a question that might be emotionally exhausting for me and he was clear that I could opt out and we'd talk about something else. And probably part that I was just very ready to vent to someone who at least had something to learn if I did, rather than the kind of endless cathartic circle jerk that I end up with with my queer friends where we all know how we experience this and we all agree and the only thing we get about when we talk about it is upset and angry, but we talk about it anyway because it's worse *not* to.

And I'm super used to public reactions that range from weird sideways looks to wolf whistles calling out "I voted yes for you two!" to telling us we're brave or it's nice to see that two girls are comfortable holding hands in public, and it's rare that somebody will actually ask me what it's like for me. Like the vast majority of things you get are people wanting you to know how *they* feel about the issue, and he wanted to know about my feelings. Rather than doing the, "You're so brave! I voted yes!" thing and then expecting a pat on the back, which honestly just kind of feels like cat calling for progressives.

So even though I'm generally with you people and their reactions to being queer in public, it was nice to be talked to as a person and not as a trophy of someone's tolerance and progressiveness.
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